For the second time in three years I find myself completely indifferent to movies made from television shows of my youth. I was too old to have been caught up in the Transformers, so I was more than indifferent to that film (and to its upcoming sequel – and besides, both are directed by the worst director in history, Michael Bay).
This week sees the opening of “Land of the Lost,” a film inspired by the 1974 children’s television series of the same name starring Will Farrell. First, I rarely find Mr. Farrell funny; I know that other people do, but he doesn’t do much for me (although his one man George W. Bush show on HBO was a riot.) Second, I didn’t remember the television show except for the name until I think it was the SciFi network ran a “Land of the Lost” marathon over the weekend. Then I remembered, it was another of the Sid and Marty Kroft productions.
The Krofts produced a number of inane kids shows in the 1970s that I never watched like H.R. Pufinstuf. It wasn’t just that I was too old for them; they were like Barney on hallucinogens – weird characters with live humans in their midst, singing songs and telling continuing stories. The only Kroft show that I watched was the Banana Splits – they were mildly amusing and they had some continuing stories that were almost compelling.
But I never watched “Land of the Lost.” The story was, according to imdb.com: “Widowed forest ranger Rick Marshall and his two children, Will and Holly, are enjoying a rafting trip when they accidentally fall over a waterfall. However, instead of being killed they somehow fall through a dimensional doorway into a closed universe populated by dinosaurs, ape men known as Pakune and a race of lizard like men known as Sleestacks.” The Marshalls work to survive while they attempt to find a way home for the next two years by using a monolithic chamber known as a pylon which acts as a doorway to other worlds. From what I understand, the actor playing the father opted out of the series and was written out. To keep the series going, the Krofts created a brother for Rick who disappears down the same pathway as the family searching for them.
I looking at one of the episodes over the weekend, I was reminded of the REALLY chintzy special effects (they made Doctor Who from the same period look like Star Wars), and according to Roger Ebert, the special effects in the film make it appear that the effects are cheap and don’t try to be believable. Ebert liked the film, but seems to be in the minority among movie critics.
The film was produced by the Krofts, who hadn’t done anything since the 1970s; I guess they have been trying to get this film made for three decades. I can’t imagine why – their series weren’t particularly memorable, and I can’t say that there were tons of people my age and just a little younger clamouring for a “Land of the Lost” movie.
What’s next: “H.R. Pufinstuf – The Movie?” SNORE!

It is appropriate with the Printer’s Row Book Fair happening this weekend (the Chicago Tribune wants to call it “Lit Fair” but it sounds like there will be bonfires or something, so I’ll stick with the old name) to take a minute to publicize a couple of new books that I’ve just finished reading that you may find interesting.

We just commemorated the 10th anniversary of the Columbine High School massacre, and Dave Cullen, Colorado columnist, published his book “Columbine.” Mr. Cullen has been able to review all of the police reports, videotapes, and interviews and his own reporting, to piece together exactly what happened on April 20, 1999 when 18-year-old Eric Harris and 17-year-old Dylan Klebold killed 13 people before turning their guns on themselves in one of the deadliest massacres in American History.
What made this book fascinating was not only an account of what happened that day, but why Harris and Klebold do what they did, and the effects of the event on the victims, the community, the parents of the survivors, the parents of the dead, and the parents of the assailants.
But Mr. Cullen’s book also dispels all of the myths and misconceptions spread by the media during and after the massacre and where they may have come from. Video games, heavy metal or industrial music, and the Trench Coat Mafia had, in the final analysis, nothing at all to do with this horrific incident. The book is also honest in admitting that there is no possible answer to the question that most parents want to get from Columbine: how to identify troubled kids to avert this from happening again. Both Harris and Klebold came from steady two parent families, but Klebold was a depressive who really wanted to kill himself, and Harris was a psychopath who hated all of humanity. But, like Capote’s “In Cold Blood,” this is the story of two sad individuals who may not have killed alone, but in the perfect mix of personalities and opportunities took lives and paid for it.

One of, in a most welcome turn of events, we have been getting more and more stories of instances when Jews fought back against the Nazis or have exacted revenge against people who attack them. Too many holocaust stories have featured the sad people on their way to death by bullets and in gas chambers as a result of German lies and greater military might. What we didn’t really see in many of the films and books were the instances where Jews didn’t go quietly to their doom.
To a certain extent, Steven Spielberg’s “Munich” was one of the first films to show the natural reaction to seek the people who have killed Jews. Of course, “Munich” detailed the attempts by Israel to hunt, down the 1972 Munich Olympic terrorists. The film “Defiance” starring current James Bond Daniel Craig (who was also in “Munich”) is a film about a group of resistance fighters who battled the Nazis during the war and survived.
I just finished Neal Bascomb’s “Hunting Eichmann,” a thrilling account of how a group of Israelis hunted down Adolf Eichmann, the architect of Hitler’s Final Solution and smuggled him back to Israel for trial.
The book begins with a brief summary of Eichmann’s Nazi career, especially regarding his work on “the Jewish question” and shows how he was able to hide his identity after the war and find Nazi sympathizers in Europe and South America (including priests in the Roman Catholic Church) who helped him out of Europe and to Argentina. The scene shifts to Simon Weisenthal and the various German and Jewish Nazi hunters who followed leads despite political unwillingness in the 1950s from many governments too busy fighting the Cold War to reexamine World War II.
The book really comes together describing (often for the first time) the experiences of the hunters as they tried to confirm Eichmann’s identity; plan his capture; catch him; hold him; and smuggle him out of the country. What the captors did not expect as they held the ex-Nazi in a safe house in Buenos Aires was the strange depression that overcame them almost as soon as they captured the fugitive war criminal. They did not foresee, Mr. Bascomb writes, “the soul-hollowing effect of inhabiting the same space as” the man who had been the “operational manager of the Nazi genocide.”
Taut as any fictional thriller; this is the previously untold story of the capture, and especially spine-tingling was the way in which Mr. Bascomb describes the manner in which the Israelis got Eichmann on the plane and the problems that ensued in spiriting Eichmann away. It makes for a story begging to be turned into a film.

Too many people are too dense to understand the concept. The contemptible sub-human who is accused of killing Kansas abortion provider George Tiller, Scott Roeder was quoted as saying that he seems to be surprised that he’s “being treated as a criminal” even though he hasn’t been convicted. How does he want to be treated – like Paris Hilton at a party?
Further in his delusions, he takes issue with what he called “broad brush” characterizations of him as being anti-government. He says that he is “anti-corrupt government.” As a person living in Illinois, I’m against corruption too, but you don’t see me taking arms against former governor Blagojevich or Mayor Daley, who, with the rush to push through privatization of Chicago’s parking meters, is making Haliburton and other government corruption look like taking money from a church collection plate.
It is obvious that this anti-abortion zealot (whose brother David has said he suffered from mental illness at various times in his life) sees himself as some sort of avenger. If the Kansas authorities want to hold everyone accountable for Dr. George Tiller’s death, they should also indict Bill O’Reilly and Rush Limbaugh for inciting this unstable person to kill and other unstable people to want to murder Dr. Tiller.

Here in Chicago, there have been two stories hitting the front page over the past several days: one on the front page; the other on the sports page, but both of them are linked in my mind.
The first story involves how politicians with clout are able to get kids into the University of Illinois. There was, reportedly, a “clout list” of people whose “referrals” getting admitted might be of use to the university. The likes of State Senate Leader Michael Madigan and other politicians reportedly pressured the university to admit students who may or may not have been qualified, and not just for undergraduate studies, but graduate school as well.
The other story involves grade changing for Chicago Bulls young superstar guard Derrick Rose. Rose attended Simeon High and apparently someone changed a “D” grade to a “C” in the final semester of Rose’s senior year. In addition, it appears that Rose may be at the center of a scandal involving the University of Memphis, where Rose played college ball before coming out after one season to enter the NBA. The second set of allegations are also aimed at former Memphis coach John Calipari who is now the first year coach at basketball’s venerable University of Kentucky.
To many, this all sounds like business as usual for Illinois politicians (tonight, Rod “They All Take Money” Blagojovich’s wife Patti “Lady Macbeth” is scheduled to make her first appearance on “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here” reality television show), and it is. Illinois politicians have a history of corruption as long as the state’s history. However, I don’t think that Illinois has the market cornered on pols with their hands out, and college entries and scholarships are yet another perk that can be sold and distributed for favors and kickbacks.
And if you think that sports is not involved in this, let me remind you of the Utah Olympic Committee that reportedly dispensed scholarships to members of the IOC in return for a favorable ruling on their bid. (And with Chicago in the running for 2016, who knows what has or might be promised to the IOC voters?)
And as anyone remotely interested in sports knows, colleges and universities will do almost anything to get star players in their programs. So, it doesn’t surprise me at all that Rose’s grade may have been changed. Or that Memphis looked the other way when considering the reigning NBA Rookie-of-the-year.
Seriously, while Rose is a tremendous player, it is clear that he went to school to play basketball. Unlike many thousands of other kids, Rose had the talent to back it up. The NBA is also to blame in this with its requirement of at least one year beyond high school graduation to be eligible for the NBA Draft. If it weren’t for that requirement, it is likely that Rose would have skipped college altogether, making the “D” grade a passing one and not requiring change and Rose on the path to graduation.
There are some calling for Rose’s Simeon teams to forfeit their Illinois High School championships, some will even suggest that Memphis forfeit some games, and perhaps punish John Calipari in some way. I think that forfeiting games is ludicrous since no one cares what happened in the past. As to violations at Simeon, Memphis and Kentucky, it’s the same old song – penalties that will not amount to much. And Derrick Rose will continue his multi-million dollar pro basketball career.
You may be asking – do you think that this is hopeless? Should nothing be done? Already, the University of Illinois says that it will reform the admissions process to eliminate politician influenced admissions. And the IHSA is working with the Chicago Public Schools to investigate the grade changing. This is very important to make sure that grades are secure.
But, in the final analysis, nothing will change until the focus on money is reduced for colleges and universities. What do I mean? I mean as long as universities want to use athletes and to grease the palms of politicians to make sure that the stadiums are filled in the former, and government funding remains available for the latter. And as long as money could be coming to some young people, there’ll be people who want to grease the wheels and get some of that money or “help” the young man or woman or bask in the reflected glow of fame.
A university president was quoted once bemoaning the importance of college sports and the resulting money and corruption. “when,” you ask? Last week? Last year? No, in the 1890s. As long as we continue to limit some young people’s perceptions that sport is the only way out of poverty; as long as being rich and famous is the only way to affirm life; and as long as we have universities embracing the hypocrisy of the “student-athlete” as it currently exists, we will have corruption.

While most thinking people know that the election of Barack Obama to the highest position in the land wouldn’t mark a post-racial world, it does bring more validation to black men. The worst educated, the group with the highest unemployment rate and among the highest incarceration rates, maybe black men, especially those of us who aren’t incarcerated and with jobs would get more respect. I think it’s happening, but slowly. But first, I have a statement to say to unhappy white women around the country: Stop Using Us As False Excuses When You’re Trying to Change Your Shitty Lives
Once again, we had a white woman this week blame unidentified black men to cover up crimes they have perpetrated. Bonnie Sweeten made several frantic 911 calls on Tuesday, saying that she and her daughter had been abducted by two men in broad daylight and claimed she was stuffed into the trunk of a car.
Of course, the men were black, once again digging back into the old racial bugaboo of black men and their “uncontrollable lust for” white women. There were far too many cases in American history where black men were lynched to protect white women, even when the women had nothing to fear, or men was never near them. (And if you think this is something for history books, let’s not forget the black men who have been dragged on the back of pick-up trucks to their deaths, or more recently, the Los Angeles Latino street gang that targeted African-Americans (“the hate gang”).
In this case, Sweeten and her 9-year-old daughter were taken into custody Wednesday night at an Orlando hotel. Apparently, Sweeten borrowed a co-worker’s driver’s license and presented it as her own when she bought an airline ticket in Philadelphia and flew to Orlando with her daughter. They had minimal luggage and the hotel was paid through Friday. Authorities said that Sweeten had withdrawn about $12,000 from several bank accounts over recent days, but they were still investigating whether that money had been stolen.
Whenever I hear one of these incidents, I think about Susan Smith, the white trash woman who drowned her two kids in her car to placate a new lover. Smith’s case of course was false, but it initiated a nationwide manhunt for two black men who had “abducted” the children. Of course, this case occurred in South Carolina, a proud part of the “Old South.” Smith was believed until her story fell apart and she currently is serving 30 years-to-life for double murder. No one in the police or the media ever publicly apologize to the number of black men stopped in the manhunt.
So, to all of you white women out there unhappy with your life; yearning to run away from your husbands, children, jobs, crimes you have committed; when you are formulating your bullshit stories, please leave the faceless “black men” out of it. We get blamed (rightly and wrongly) for enough as it is.

It ended as everyone expected – the Chicago Blackhawks lost last night to the defending Stanley Cup Champion Detroit Red Wings in five games. Three of the games were settled in overtime; two were Detroit blowouts. Now it’s up to the Penguins to keep Detroit from winning the Cup again.
But this is an open thank you to the team – from owner Rocky Wirtz who brought the team out of the 1950s, getting the team on home television to hiring President John McDonough who added marketing savvy and extended a long overdue olive branch to the ex-players, future Hall of Fame announcer Pat Foley, and fans. Let’s thank Scotty Bowman and his son who have helped us with hockey acumen. We can’t forget GM Dale Tallon who made the moves to get us this far. To Joel Quennville and his staff, who took one of the youngest teams in the league deep into the playoffs; and also to Denis Savard, who was a father figure to those youngsters last season, was fired four games into the season, took the firing with class and is still a great PR representative to the team.
And finally, let’s thank the players who busted their asses all season for the most entertaining season in well over a decade. Toews and Kane rightfully get a lot of the attention, but all of the players: Seabrook, Keith, Huet, Khababulin, Ladd, Sharp, Burish, Byfuglien, Havlat, Brower, Campbell, Bolland, Versteeg and all of the rest. They showed grit beyond their years, and hopefully will only get better as time goes by. I think that the Hawks may be the Chicago team closest to winning a championship (sorry Cub and even Bear fans).
It was sad seeing this magic season end, but the future’s so bright, we Hawk fans “gotta wear shades.”

I’m posting this because I agree with Penn State’s historic football coach, not because my boss has a cardboard standup of Joe Paterno in her living room. The venerable coach says he’d like to see either Rutgers, Pittsburgh or Syracuse join the Big Ten, but not Notre Dame.
Paterno, according to SI.com, was meeting with reporters at an alumni event near Allentown, and once again argued for Big Ten expansion. Simple mathematics shows that a 12th team would ease scheduling difficulties (hear that Jim Delaney???). Paterno said he’d like the Big Ten to add an Eastern school, especially one that plays in the New York media market. “If I had my choice, someone that can give us the biggest TV exposure in the East,” Paterno said, offering as possibilities “Syracuse, Pitt, Rutgers. Not in that order.”
“There’s some pressure, I would suppose, to maybe go back to Notre Dame and ask again, which I would not be happy with,” Paterno said. “I think they’ve had their chance.”
The Conference needs a 12th team, but I don’t think it needs an Eastern team. There are other Midwestern options. But wouldn’t it be fun to see the Domers finish at or near the bottom of the Big Ten every year? They already lose most of their games with Big Ten schools already, might as well make it official?